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well thats not important. today im hit with reality, but i don't know about tomorrow. seems like im living in my own world. i was looking at myself in the mirror today, oily crumpled pimple face. bad hair, im fat and im not exactly good looking. i puff, i drink, i dont have a nice curve. and now i wonder, if theres something wrong with my character. i wonder i wonder and i wonder.

life is weird, grass is greener on the side, because everyone is not happy with the present.

im not. cause i can only see now, and never the future.

when something goes wrong in life, i like to push the responsibility to others, but actually deep down inside i blame myself for being not able to solve/finish/tackle the issue. maybe thats why im pessimistic? i don't know how come people can be pessimistic.

reality sucks, right toothy?!

things never go the way you want it to be, or rather you hardly get the things you want.

dilligence, determination. i got 0 of that. fate destiny and fairy tales, i believe in them which ultimately will fail in the end. having faith and believing is hard, i think its hard cause i cant see the future. theres just no assurance. i guess thats why people buy insurance? always wanting to have somewhere to fall.

believe in the good of people.... well. toothy, im amazed you can do that after being slapped in the face so hard. you are dumb, but so i am. but we are different, you chose to believe, but i merely forgotten that people are evil. hahaha! thats the difference.

probably when i wake up tomorrow, ill forget what i typed.

please darwin remember !